Guide on 'How To Get Fat'
1 . The very first step is to acknowledge you are underweight, and need to bulk up. Forget muscle, your going for pure fat.
2 . Bin that healthy shit! How are you going to get obese eating a salad? Stock up on as much shit as possible, thats burgers, sausages, steak. Invest in a fat frier, you can then eat some extra greasy chips then.
3 . Now, you must have a set meal layout each day. Consisting of AT LEAST 3 meals. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. Your breakfast should consist of many fried eggs, sausages, bacon, and a steak if you have time to cook it. Lunch should be of a similar caliber, however, a takeaway kebab also suffices, but works better as an addition. When it comes to dinner, ensure that you are eating at least £20 worth of food. Stick a bit of lettuice in there as well, that way you get at least some greens.
4 . You may find that your hungry in between all these meals, so feel free to snack on takeaway meals and the likes. Curry and Donner Kebabs are the best ones to eat as they are more full of fat.
5 . You will probably find you get indigestion throughout your jumbo sized meals, so it may be an idea to have a fair amount of remi's available to take to help relieve the indigestion.
6 . Repeat this process until movement is no longer possible. Your then clinically obese and need to follow a guide to getting skinny again.